All this carp talk has given me CARP-al tunnel.

Okay that's the last carp title for the day, for a little while.  Or until tomorrow.

Speaking of:  Tomorrow is a busy day.  If you're in the Niagara area, stop by Isaac's pub at Brock University after 7pm to support the Ellie Burbidge Memorial Scholarship Fundraiser Tribute.  (That's a lot of words.  Ellie would've enjoyed how verbose that event title was.)  Tonnes of prizes to be won!  Admission's $10 for a very good cause.

It's that, and a wedding for me tomorrow!  Well, not me.  But for me to attend. BYE!

Carpus Maximus

I was standing at the gas pump at 7-Eleven just now, noticing my transaction was only up to about $3 when I'd been standing there for about as many minutes. An old man staggered out of the store and walked toward his car, looking at me rather suspiciously, as if to want to ask something. I said to him, "Did you find the pump was really slow?"

Suddenly, gas station chaos ensued. Voices from behind every pump started cursing the crawling rate of gasoline flow.

"It was just creeping along..."
"Fuck! It's way too slow!"
"I'll be here 'til Sweet Ruby Tuesday waiting for this one to fill up!"
"Jesus Christ! Once I get to $10, I'm leaving!"
And from me: "Well, $9 should be enough to get me home."

Thank god it wasn't just me. For a brief moment in time I was beginning to question my gas-pumping abilities.

Just goes to show. It only takes one a-hole.

Carp(e) Diem

The other night I dreamed that I stored Rico in a bag full of water with my fish to transport him to another house. When I arrived at that place, Rico was a black cat and he was... not so much alive anymore.

Why is logic always so flawed in dreams?

Last night I think I must've dreamed he was a giant, because when I walked past the living room today, I noticed him lounging on the couch and thought, "Hey, you look different than the last time I saw you..."

Naked, and carping along

Q: Nikki, wherever did you come up with the brilliant domain name NakedCarp.com?
A: Well, the dot-com boom began just over a decade ago when... oh, you mean the actual name bit. I was thinking about this the other night, and I can't quite remember. All I know is we were driving along on Moyer and whichever road becomes East Main Street at the very edge of Niagara Falls and Welland, and I somehow put those two words together and decided I was bored of my blog's predecessor name, HappyIdiot.org. So that's that, although it's not a very good explanation. Location, location, location remains true in this case, at the very least.

Q: I hate you.
A: That isn't very nice, and it doesn't really align with the point of Q&A if you want my opinion, but I'm sure if you took the time to get to know me you'd find I can sit down and chit-chat with just about anyone, as long as they're non-threatening and respectful.

Q: Do you like math?
A: You'd be shocked to discover that I really do enjoy math. In fact, if there were things in the region to be done with math that didn't only involve accounting and estimating the size of land, I'd have gone into a field math-related instead of business, which, you know, was my dream career... moving right along.

Q: What movie do you quote the most?
A: That would have to be Billy Madison. Billy Madison and the Simpsons (the show, not the movie) are among the most quotable things in my life.

Q: I don't remember you ever mentioning this Q&A would take place. Did anyone really ask you these questions?
A: ...

School only feels like it's out when you're 8 and it's summertime.

It feels good to be back to the 'writer' roots. When your proposed backup plan (in my case, Business Admin) kind of takes over your life for three years, it's easy to lose sight of what you really wanted. I love you, writing. I always have. Come back to me.

Writers need readers. Readers need eyes. What novel insight. No pun intended. All I know is, school's done, this report I'm writing is almost finished, which means school will really be done, and my knees hurt from bad posture. Also, I need caffeine. So away I go.

They call me Flipper...

I also love the t-shirt I have put on today. I like to call it "Woodland Creatures". It's like a 'modern' version of all those Northern Getaway shirts people used to wear. It's the third t-shirt I've bought from H&M's Organic Cotton line. I don't know how 'organic' it all actually is, but here's a rundown. All I know is it's extra soft and more breathable than regular tees.

Anyway, enough product placement. Back to the million-page assignment.

Midnight Vulture

Why am I writing at 1:19am? I felt it necessary to publicly declare my love for this t-shirt I bought yesterday. The jeans are really good too.

I just revised the second sentence for 'wordiness' purposes. You can tell I've had the grammar-check on while writing this report, as it's becoming inherent that I fix, fix, fix. Although three "fix"es in a sentence is 'wordy' in and of itself.

Little known fact: I wouldn't mind if I died while listening to "Hook" by Blues Traveler. If you're a 50/50 cynic-optimist like me and you listen to those lyrics, you begin to realize how endearing that big fat harmonica-playing bastard is.

It's all presentation.

I'd like to write a story about my life, but then I think to myself: what's the point, if I'd never get to write the epilogue?

I think the book, if I did decide to write it without the proper conclusion, would have to be a collection of short stories. My life is never continually interesting, as I'm sure many people's aren't. I'd break it into 20 or so defining moments (or just some clumsy memories that are somewhat idyllic), and streeeeetch those stories out until they were each about 10 pages long.

Something like what I'm supposed to be doing with this final report I'm writing for my program coordinator, except that I'm much more fascinated by my life than by the topic of this paper.

Which reminds me: I'm blogging instead of completing that report again. Right. Okay, time to get on that. Love you bye.

Rebel L

Hey,

I'm supposed to get up at like... oh, I dunno, 9am and shower and proceed working on my macadamia academic assignment thing, but man. It's just not feeling like bedtime yet. Sure, my eyelids are like 10 pound weights (and in eyelid weight, that's like benching a small elephant), but I feel like there's just so much to catch up on. Like uploading some new photos for once, and linking you to Miklos.ca because we got to try out a 20mm lens his friend Bob graciously allowed him to borrow (all of those pictures are on Miki's site, none are on mine; sry!). So much fun.

I officially 'launched' this blog last week after 2 years, in accordance with the "Who Gives a F&#$ Anymore" law I recently passed with regards to who reads my writing. It was a struggle getting royal assent on that proposition, but once I read it over and gave it some good thought, I quickly decided the timing was right. What with the economy and the dollar sign in its name, et al.

The people would want this.

So guess what. I got a ukulele, as mentioned yesterday. What I did not say was that I decided to premiere it to one of my sisters while she was passed out in her bed, 'recovering' from the previous night's events (I imagine). I stood in the door, in a hunched-over-the-ukulele pose, strumming gently with a big smile plastered on. This went on for about a minute until she began to stir, opened her eyes in a daze, and then mumbled, "oh my god... I thought I was dreaming that." I gave a big grin, and she roared, "GET OUT!!!!!!" Obediently, I ran out of her room giggling.

It's my favourite thing I've done lately. You know, other than working every weekend.

So welcome, welcome all. I hope you like it.

I'm off to bed. Goodnighty.

Oh, DJ Jojo. Where are you when it's not Saturday morning?

There's this awesome guy in a yellow Corvette who circles the Falls some (all?) nights and, I imagine, pops one giant boner after another as people turn their heads to look at his car. The great thing is, Miklos and Pearl noticed him last year, and the guy still takes the same route around the Falls. He also looks around and around as he drives at an appropriate speed to make sure everyone is taking an envious glance at his high-performance 'wheels'.

This guy is my new favourite psychology case. He is a simplified version of every other weirdo I observe and decode for my own amusement. His case is so simple. I just imagine him at home slicking a tonne of oil through his hair, wink-and-gunning himself in the mirror and then leaving his big lonely house to take that routine hours-long spin circling the busiest part of town for a while.

If this were Toronto, no one would even notice his car. Niagara, however, is prime envy-breeding/ego-inflation territory for someone like that.

Just when you think you've seen it all. People continue to amaze.

Like a 17 year-old kid with an older Ontario driver's license than my own, trying to buy lotto tickets; when swiped, this card verifies his age at 66 years old. "You look very young for your age," I say to him, as I advise him to try somewhere else, because I'm not selling him any tickets.

I wish I was as entertaining as these guys. Without all the corruption and weirdness, of course. Then again, that's what makes it, isn't it.

All I've got is an assignment to write, a nice plant to water, a brand new ukulele, and a song called "Oregon Girl" on the player. Shit luck, I tell you.

Special thanks to Miklos for fixing up the jive-turkey code on this site.

Songs & Stories: This Week

Mean Mad Margaret - Spoon
Sent this to my nana, whose name is Margaret, and who oddly enough has always told us to "kill them with kindness". (Ahh advice never heeded.) Odder still that my awesome nana uses email and MSN, I'd say.

Before You Leave - Joel Plaskett/Thrush Hermit
I find it really difficult to get over how cool the guitar sounds in this. Also, there's a pretty cool video of Joel playing it on an acoustic while kind of tipsy (and on the floor) at a house party. Sometimes Joel's rambles in between song lyrics are endearing, other times I think to myself "his wife must find him such a dork sometimes". Either way, I admire that man's musicianship.

Ragged Wood - Fleet Foxes
I don't care if you've already heard it before; I've been listening to it all week and it's been soothing my studying-tortured soul. Something soft and pretty is always welcome in the ears of a Nikki.

That new Metric song is growing on me too. "Gimme Sympathy". Didn't like it at first, but it's catching on. I'll probably be over it by summer. Not posting a link as I'm sure it's pretty accessible on its own.

Done school! Send me some links to songs you like. Yousendit is a great site to use.

Spilling Mistake

The Local Rabbits will always be a good springtime band for me. Spring of 2006 in Toronto, Spring of 2009 in St. Catharines.

There were some college years in between but we'll just repress all those memories, excluding of course the influential people I met during that time. A few surprisingly great teachers, a few cool people, a few good friends, one of whom I knew only for just over a year but who touched my life in a lot of ways with our common ground, some silly situations, and our fail-proof intriguing conversations.

Sometimes I think of my times with Ellie and imagine what they would've been like if she weren't there. I'd certainly have looked silly setting up a tripod in the Brock courtyard at midnight, light-painting a long-exposure with my little flashlight, doing somersaults on the goose-poop-covered ground just to see what the light in the photos would turn out like. I'm sure it looked silly then too, but when paired with maniacal girl-laughter and some shots of her spinning around with a flashlight in her hand, it was called 'fun'.

Or the time when she asked a server at the Merchant Ale House for a glass of water with seven lemon wedges in it. I will always remember seeing her from across the loud, bastardized-local rock 'n roll-filled room, mouthing only the word "lemons" at the server. I sat smiling to myself that she actually went and asked for it as a result of our conversation about how great lemons were, thinking about what adorable idiots we were. Always discussing smart things, then topping them off with lemon- or Spoon-appreciation.

Anyway, all I'm thinking is: School is over, and Ellie would've been feeling just as relieved as I am this day (probably more so).

And though Ellie left me with a paranoia about all the things I love in my life could be gone in about 17 seconds, she also left me remembering to appreciate everything and bother to make the effort, because there'll always be a few minutes a day available for fun to make up for all that.

Good things right now:

• School's done.
• The majority of dysfunctional stress in my life is gone, as a result of decision-making.
• It's the most beautiful day outside (we'll forget for now that I have to work all weekend).
• Everyone got drunk before the last exam except for the three of us who just sat there smiling about how much we'll miss those nutjobs when they're gone from our daily lives.

I'm not going to bother to balance that out with bad things. This entry's heavy enough.

Hey, the Habs are out... or something.

Tell me anything you want, any old lie will do

When I die, which I always assume will be the following week, please play Fleet Foxes as background music at my life celebration.

Fame went to the painting elephant's head

When I was a wee little dame of about 16, one of my night-dweller friends (sometimes two) and I would spend summer nights on the back porch, usually at my house, and look up at the navy blue above our heads and watching for lights that twinkled just a little too quickly. We saw some strange things, but I think they may have just been strange by comparison, because no one looks up at the sky when they get older. (Unless they're unemployed, which I sometimes kind of wouldn't mind, until the bank account got below the buffer zone. That shit really sends me into a panic.)

Summer's almost here. Time to look up at the sky again, on those short nights in between workdays.

Speaking of, what a good forecast.

Plz sir, may I trespass after __ PM tonight?

It occurred to me today that something I really can't stand in a person is the inability to process tongue-in-cheek remarks and chuckle at them instead of tsk-tsking in my direction.

One more week of clown college.

Apparently, it takes a lot of work to fire someone with a horrible mental illness. The school I attend (at least for another week or so) is a prime example. This week a teacher went ballistic and did a song-and-dance routine while teaching her class about how much she hates the faculty she works with (she's apparently been found 'teaching' to a literal class of nobody before too, so this isn't a first incident). For about a week, she would update the "status" part of her Facebook every second minute with a new rant about someone who has negatively affected her. She mentioned specific names of teachers who I've had or am aware of at the school, who she "hates" or feels are "useless". In one such ramble, she said that she'd be world-famous for something she did at the college on April 14, 2009. Creepy. She also posted the contents of confidential notices given to her by the college asking her to stay home and notify them if she was going to come in.

She's been Facebook-messaging students asking them to invite her to convocation in June, as well, and there are actually students who have said they would do so! Yep, that sounds like a safe idea.

Mental illness is serious, but when it threatens the security of students and staff, the person should be fired and locked down. As far as I'm aware, the school is taking all the precautionary measures that they can to prevent a teacher-reenactment of Columbine from happening, but there is a strange lack of legal action being taken, considering the amount of threat this person may pose.

Not surprising.

The point of all this is, I thought this school drove me nuts. Turns out, far from it.

Moral of the story: For your safety, sanity and financial security, never ever attend Niagara College.

Today the music is just background...

Pretend I'm pounding on the keys in frustration and school-related stress right now. I'd do it for real, but laptop keyboards are kind of a one-shot deal...

"Feelin' Fine"

I'm doing good today.

One more assignment to write (well, 3 more to hand in, but one and a half which I've completed, and one new one that will hopefully be good enough since I only learned about it today), and I will be fucking graduating!!!!!!!!!!! from this dreadful course.

It's the out I've been looking for. And all it took were several nervous breakdowns and a nearly-complete loss of self-esteem.

I donated some clothes I've been meaning to get rid of to a charity bin before eating some lunch today. It's good to get old stuff out of the way.

On the topic of charity, I'm looking for donations for prizes for the scholarship fundraiser in Ellie's name that is being held at Isaac's at Brock University in St. Catharines on May 1st. Already got the approval of my store for one prize pending a letter explaining the fundraiser to them. Yay.

Blog entries will become more frequent beginning at the end of next week. At least that's what I surmise. And surmising is half the battle.

This place is about as secure as a Geocities website...

2008: All about tips & tricks and death-wish adventures photography. Learned a few cool things, got into post-processing beyond the point of believability.

2009: Focus on reality. Everything's prettier when it's real. Well, I guess not everything, but as far as art is concerned, I'm not feeling the 'contrived' stuff lately.

In other news, Miklos won like a billion dollars at the casino tonight and I'm pretty happy for him. When good things finally happen to good people (he donated half of it to the people closest to him, man! That is a good person!), that's when I feel warm and fuzzy inside. And two seats from him, moments later, an older lady ALSO won like a billion dollars! What a celebratory state that corner of the casino was in for a brief moment in time.

Naked. And carply. The two sweetest plums, together at last.

Because I only come up with cool domain names, here is the new one; I hope you are already enjoying it. (Thanks Miki, for helping me out of remedying my site of my Blogger-induced laziness.)

Here comes "2"...!

Something special is about to happen. Tune in, tune in.
And if it's already happened by the time you read this, hello! Welcome to the future!

Cool jumping pic from tonight @Miklos.ca. I'm almost tempted to post the retarded looking outtakes, but I'll spare myself the embarrassment. One retarded picture should suffice.